City Streets

Let´s talk about Buenos Aires streets.

1) They're dirty. They have these "Juga Limpia" (play clean) trash cans drilled into lampposts and other metal poles but no one uses them. You walk behind people and watch them subtley drop napkins, tissues, and wrappers on the ground. It's tragic. Then you step in it.

2) They're covered in dog *mess*. Instead of going to a dog park, bringing plastic bags with them, or hiring a professional dog walker (although some do), most people leave their dog mess on the sidewalk. So walking in this city is like walking through mine fields. You pray to be downwind so can at least have some kind of sensory warning. My own personal encounter with a warm squishy pile is pending.

3) They're dotted with air conditioner drip puddles. Everyone has window units here, so the condensation drips onto the sidewalk or on your head or collects in the broken sidewalk tiles. If you're not paying attention (like me this morning), you can step on the elevated edge of a see-saw-y tile and splash the nasty drip all over your foot. It leaves a white residue on your flip-flop and jeans when it dries.

4) They're dangerous. At any point you can get robbed, hit by a taxi, hit by a bus, hit by a person running for a taxi or bus, get whistled at, step on a homeless person, trip over a broken tile, step in a/c drip, step in dog mess, get lost, get accosted by flyer passer-outers, and be solicited for change and lord knows what else.

5) They're crowded. Though the subte is sweaty, even being outdoors on a sidewalk can make you feel like you're suffocating. If you happen to cross a subte/colectivo stop as people are alighting, you're going to get squished, trampled, evil-eyed and run over by equally exhausted, frustrated, sweaty, dirty, dog-messed, and a/c drip-soaked argentinos.

Moral of the story:

• Wear shoes that fit you. For whatever reason, porteños like to wear shoes at least one size too small so their toes hang off the edges. Test subjects reported dirty feet in 100% of cases where too-small shoes were worn oustide on Buenos Aires sidewalks.
• Watch the sidewalk as you walk. This will most likely result in you running into more people, but at least you won't smell like dog poo.
• Stay indoors between the hours of 7-9 am and 3-6 pm, and basically anytime you have an inclination to ride the subte.
• Pick up your dog crap.
• Wait to take a shower until you get home at 4pm. Trust me, you'll be stinky then too.

So come visit me!